DISCLAIMER: This post is R-rated. If you’re a young reader or my mother, now is the time to stop reading this post…. For the rest of you, enjoy!
There are a lot of assholes out there that are great at getting laid. They know how to manipulate girls into bed, and usually, they’re pretty decent between the sheets. Ladies, I’m sure you’ve been with at least one of these guys in the past. I’m here to tell you to give the non-asshole a chance. This is an ode for all the nice guys out there that don’t get to put their P in a V as much as they’d like.
I’m not referring to the guy you are friends with who ACTS nice to get you into bed. He thinks being nice will work. That guy is different. I’m referring to the genuinely nice guy, who isn’t trying to get out of the friend zone. You just met him, and he’s not an asshole. That’s the guy you should bang… Why you ask? Well, here are 10 reasons why you should hook up with a Nice Guy.
1. The nice guy isn’t going to play mind games when you text him. He’s going to respond to your message with his actual feelings, wants and desires. And he’s not going to try to diabolically get your panties off through texting warfare.
2. An asshole will not call you the day after hooking up, the day after that, or even a week later… He will text you at 1:30 in the morning, asking to buy you a shot in exchange for a shot at you. On the flip-side, the nice guy is going to shoot you a text the next afternoon saying something like, “hey, I had a really fun time last night. I was wondering if you’d want to get together for a drink in the near future.” Maybe you don’t want that drink, but at least you’re not being ignored.
3. Have you ever dealt with an asshole who doesn’t reciprocate in the oral department? You just spent ten minutes trying to get his flaccid penis up, and he won’t even put his lips on your downstairs. The nice guy is going to want to return the favor, instead of just plowing you and rolling over. He’ll care about your needs in the bedroom, and while he may lack confidence originally before getting you between the sheets, once he’s there, he makes up for it with a very determined tongue.
4. When you crash at the Nice Guy’s apartment, he’s going to want to make you breakfast. He’s not rushing you out the door because it’s the morning and he never wants to see you again. The nice guy is going to whip up a batch of pancakes, because he wants to “thank you” for your services. Unlike going out to dinner, making breakfast is after the goods have been shared. He still wants to care for you. The asshole won’t even want to share his bed once his needs have been fulfilled.
5. When you’re walking home from the bars at 2 A.M., in high heels and in the rain, the asshole is going to do nothing. The nice guy is going to take off his shoes, offer them to you, and then carry your heels. He doesn’t care about ruining a pair of socks. He just wants your feet to be in a little less agony.
6. When you’ve been with a nice guy a couple times, he’s willing to do things for you, even if it doesn’t get his dick wet. He’ll run to the store to pick up your favorite diet soda, because he wants to, not because he expects a blowie upon his return.
7. A nice guy actually cares about your opinion. Yes, it’s nice when your man steps up to the plate and has an entire date planned out, from the ride to the restaurant. However, the nice guy will ask you if you have preferences, making sure you’re not a huge hater of sushi before taking you to try it. It’s a small respect thing, but it’s nice to be on the receiving end.
8. You know that massage you need after a long day… the one that puts you in a relaxed state of mind? The one that is done without needing to bang the masseuse after? Yeah, that’s only coming from the nice guy.
9. A nice guy is going to get 5 of his friends to sit and take a survey for you, that you need to do for class, because you’re not very good at finding people. He’s always trying to help you out with the little things, because he gets his jollies off of other people’s happiness.
10. A nice guy is going to try the weird things in the bedroom. The asshole might as well, but whereas the asshole wants you to do his things, the nice guy will be open to yours.
In general, the nice guy wants to please you. The asshole wants to please himself. That’s the main difference. The problem with nice guys is that they’re beta males, and don’t have the cajones to make the moves. They’re waiting for you, and they’re likely going to be waiting until your biological clock starts ticking. That’s when the nice guys become THE guys.
So for you nice men out there, keep plugging along, you’ll find your sex kitten. And ladies, next time you’re out at a bar, and the shy guy has made eye contact with you a couple times, go up and introduce yourself. You never know when you’ll find your diamond in the rough.