Posts Tagged With: Love & Relationships

Can You Date If …

Chatter Commencing.

I’ve dated my fair share of people. flowerFor the most part, they all started in generally the same fashion. I met the girl. We flirted. I got her number. We went out. If we hit it off, we continued dating. I would guess that most people have experienced this general relationship path before. However, there are a variety of situations that arise where, like a flower growing in the sidewalk, a relationship grows in an unlikely place. Each must be handled delicately. But if you keep your manners and communicate, you can build a lasting foundation, even on the slipperiest of slopes. So, without any more delay, I’d like to present my favorite game, Can you date if  __ ??? Let’s dive in boys and girls. Remember, I’m writing from my POV, so feel free to replace pronouns with your personal favorites, and also remember that this is generalized for mass consumption.

As a way of shedding light, I’m also going to be using some good old Friends references to explain certain situations.

Can you date if … she’s your friend’s sister?

This is one of the most over-used examples in television. Ross originally is distraught at the idea of Chandler and Monica dating, but comes around after they tell him it’s not just “fooling around.” The morale of Ross’ reaction is simple. If you’re going to date a friend’s sister, you gotta let him know ahead of time and/or that it’s more than just a fling. If you really like her, and she you, there should be no issue. Although, I highly suggest keeping the snogging to a minimum in front of him. (P.S. If anyone could draw the image of Ron nodding his head in approval of Harry & Ginny’s Kiss (Book Version), in say, 3 short comic pages, I would love you to death).

Can you date if … you work together?

I detail this particular issue in my “Company Ink” article, but I will say it again here. NO. Do not do it. It’s very tempting. It seems like the best idea. It sucks. The aftermath of an office romance creates crazy drama that no one really wants to deal with. So save yourself the time. Avoid the work fling.

On the other hand… the office fling is one of the hottest you’ll experience. The constant work flirt gets you revved up all day long, and when the end of the day rolls around, all hell breaks loose. My final conclusion? If it’s Elisha Cuthbert, I think the juice would be worth the squeeze.

Can you date if … she is 4 years younger than you? GG

I picked a random number here. I figured it didn’t matter where I started, but simply the rule I’ve learned and followed over the last half decade. It’s a little different than the commonly thought of Age/2 +7, I choose instead to add 9. Thus, when you start at 18, you can date another 18 year old. It keeps things a little tighter on the higher end, as well. Everyone has their own standards, but for example, if you’re 24, and you want to date some, she should be 21 (12+9).

Honestly though, if you really like the person, you can work past age. It really is just a pair of numbers. And remember, “Your age doesn’t define your maturity.”

Can you date if … she’s dated one of your friends?

Yes. With only one condition. Ask First. Seriously, it’s the easiest thing in the world. I’ve actually been asked before. They asked me together, saying that they were interested in hanging out, but didn’t want it to be weird. I said it was totally fine, and they dated for several years. However, I’ve seen the same type of situation blow up. After my buddy Matt broke up with his on again/off again girlfriend, his roommate Craig, started dating the same girl. Craig was trying to find the right way of telling Matt, but unfortunately, word got back to Matt via other sources, and the two guys had a major falling out. The two are still not friends to this day. It is very sad. They were like two peas in a pod. So, ask and then enjoy.

Can you date if … she’s dated more than one of your friends?

This is an interesting example. And if you’re involved in a tight group of mixed friends, the odds are that over the years, you’ll be intimate with different ones. For example, the friends crew has had mixed histories. Every single “Friend” has kissed every other friend, and a variety of them fooled around together. It’s inevitable. So if you think she’s worth your time, and you both feel that way, go for it.

Can you date if … she’s the town bicycle?

Of course. Aren’t all men the town bicycle, willing to give anyone a ride? Just because she can and does take advantage of that same thing, doesn’t mean anything. More power to her.

Can you date if … she met you while still dating her old boyfriend?

This is by far the hardest one for me to write about, because it happens more often than you think. See the Matt/Craig situation. The aforementioned female and Craig never hooked up before the relationship with Matt was over, but because it happened so quickly, it left Craig a bit nervous about her ability to commit. Their relationship was constantly strained and eventually it broke off.

The media has always said that, once a cheater, always a cheater. It is about will and mental fortitude. If she gave in to you when she was weak, what will stop her from giving in to someone else when the two of you are experiencing minor turbulence? Tread lightly on this one. That’s all I must say.

Last one.

Can you date if … you were best friends? Yes. Yes, a million times yes. The road upblocks for this one are pretty obvious. You both need to be single. You both need to be ready for someone. And you both need to find the other attractive. But the tricky part of this relationship is starting it. It’s very high risk, very high reward, and for some people it’s too risky. However, if you can get the timing right, you’re likely never to date again.

Now, my situations have been generalized, so please don’t barrage me saying that your situation is different and that I’m an idiot. Love works in really weird ways, so if you’re with someone wonderful, forget about how you met and focus on how that person makes you feel when you’re together.

Unless it’s your sister.

Closing Chatter.

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Categories: An Eclectic of the Eccentric, Love & Relationships, Thought Catalog-Esque | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Women Kinda Rock

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tina-fey-and-amy-poehler-600

I grew up with two older brothers. I had no sisters. I learned about life without women around. I didn’t really have the chance to live in close quarters with a girl until I was moving in with three at the same time. I’ve lived with only women since. They’re cleaner, always have candles, and don’t eat all of my food. It’s a win.

What I learned from the last several years is that women are pretty bad ass. And I really admire how strong you all are throughout the random happenings of life… (sorry to generalize throughout this article, BTdubb)

I always admire how you can pull yourself together if a random person enters the conversation when you’re heated. We were mid-argument when the pizza guy arrives. Suddenly, you’re like a perfect school girl, answering the door with a smile and a thank you. But the minute that bad boy closes, you’re able to flip the switch and blast us. I don’t have that control, and it’s very impressive that most of you ladies do.

Speaking of control, I really admire your self-control during your time of the month. I know that in the media, it is a common argument that women on their periods are the equivalent of a gigantic lizard raining terror down upon an entire city. Although I’ve never experienced menstruation and base all of what I know on word-of-mouth and the media, I’ve come to the conclusion that the sources are wrong.  I can never really tell when you girls are on your time. You keep it locked up. You don’t bitch. You are rockstars.

This goes double for girls I’m dating. When I’m with you constantly throughout the day, and we start fooling around late at night, and you stop me with a subtle, “sorry, my aunt flow is visiting,” I am baffled. Where was the evil devil woman? Nowhere. Just a delight who held it together all day and still brought spunk to the table. I truly admire this anti-stereotype.

Speaking of defying stereotypes, I also love it when a girl does something typically performed by a man and absolutely crushes it. I’m talking about the girl who runs train on everything in life. She knows how to change her own flat tire and the oil in her sleek Audi A4, (Love these). She also does her own finances, taking care of her monthly budget and taxes.

To be honest, my mom does our finances, so I can’t say it’s always a male task, but I love seeing you girls tackle tasks like these with ease. But more than just being able to accomplish these tasks, I really admire that you’ll do it with grit, determination, and a zero-shits-given attitude, all the while, brimming with confidence and spunk.

It makes me so happy to be living in the 21st century. Women are gaining their own place. It is great, and I am glad to watch you take control.

Also, shout out to Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. I love both Parks and Rec and 30 Rock. You two were great on SNL, great with your own shows, and are always classy as F$%k. Love you ladies.

Closing Chatter.

Categories: An Eclectic of the Eccentric, Love & Relationships, Thought Catalog-Esque | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dates for 20-Somethings Under $20

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I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. I love chick flicks, 18333-The-Best-Things-In-Life...although I’m not a Nicholas Sparks fan… maybe it’s the trauma in all of them. However, my favorite part of a RomCom is when the leading lady’s face shines bright with the sudden surprise of a fabulous date. I know that sometimes it is a fancy dinner, but I really love the little things, the thrifty things, the thoughtful things.

So, with that carefree, upbeat, and dollar-savvy attitude in mind, here are some of my favorite dating activities, either for a first date, a fifth date, or a random afternoon with your new hubby.

I love to cook and bake, and I’m also a Pinterest nut. Combine these things and you can get a pretty sweet date. Pick out a favorite recipe, travel to the store together, and then fail miserably in trying to recreate something obnoxious. Flour fights are definitely encouraged.

If you have a local volunteer program, consider bringing your new fling. It is awesome to be giving back to the world, and you’ll both leave feeling great. Plus, winking at each other when crossing paths really makes the butterflies fly up.

Dates with Paint. I don’t know why, but I like paint-involved dating. It brings out the kid in most people. And I’m basically a 12-year-old in a 24-year-old body. Anyway, dates with paint are fantastic.

Messy Twister ~ Simple game … but very fun. Take a twister board, and pour paint onto each circle (match the colors). Then, compete as usual. This one gets messy, but you’ll both be laughing, and the clean-up can be just as fun.

Paint-Gun Fights ~ Fill up a variety of dollar store squirt guns with all sorts of colors. If you’re planning this, grab two cheap white Ts and some shaped stickers. After the fight, you will have a cool, unique shirt to remember the adventure. (Fill up balloons with paint to use as grenades in your battle!)

Go to one of your favorite book stores. Bring a notepad and some writing utensils (I prefer colored sharpies) and start collecting all your favorite books. You get to see what your partner is a fan of, and then together, you can write some short notes to future readers.

Take a pair of rainboots. Walk around the city under an umbrella with your Boo and map out the daily activities of the invisible man in the rain. I actually did this one in college and we had a blast. The girl had a polaroid camera, and it was awesome for chronicling the day!

(From my friend John) Go over to a friend’s apartment, and subtlety turn things upside down. When one of you gets caught, shout something like, “the Russians thought that they could get away with it!” and then bolt. Repeat at another friend’s place.

Go to Walmart. Each of you should find three items that describe your personality. Hide them somewhere else and re-meet. Share clues about the hiding spot, and then it’s go time. Basically, it’s a Walmart personality scavenger hunt.

Wear your finest clothes. Drive to the nearest car dealership, and test-drive some beastly vehicles under the impression of your recent promotion, wink wink.

If you’re from the city, grab a blanket (or several) a throw pillow or two, a bottle of wine (again, or several), and hop in your car. Drive out of the city really late, and find a random spot in a field. You really get to know someone when you’re staring up at the endless space above your heads.

If your city has a zoo, there are often discount/free days. Take advantage and wander around looking at the fantastic beasts, and read all about where to find them.

Remember that kite you bought four years ago? Pack that baby and a couple snacks and a blanket and find yourselves a park. Spend time trying to keep your kite floating, but also enjoy the blue skies with a bit of cloud watching.

And if all else fails, just take her/him by the hand and go for a walk. You talk. You laugh. You stop at a hotdog stand. It’s simple and easy, and honestly, isn’t it all about the time together, and the smiles of surprise.

Closing Chatter.

Categories: An Eclectic of the Eccentric, Love & Relationships, Thought Catalog-Esque | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Social Media Etiquette After A Break-Up

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“I want to punch him in the fucking face!” you’re screaming, as you angrily turn the keys in your car. You fume the whole drive, hate singing along to Taylor Swift’s Mean and gorging on a bag of Funyuns that has been sitting in your backseat for two weeks. The stale crunch clashes with Taylor’s spirited solo, and you slam both hands on your steering wheel in rage.

You get home, throw open your car door, and rush into the house. You stomp past your mother who just stares after you, mouth slightly open, a look of empathy mixed with annoyance on her face.

You slam your bedroom door, and dive for your computer. Your first instinct is to tear him apart on Twitter and Facebook, and your fingers fly over the keyboard, typing up an awesomely spiteful status update about that time he accidentally hit himself in the face with his own hot, masturbatory load.

Just before you hit send, you pause. social-networks-V2

Don’t worry. You’re not alone. In this digital age, people are very quick to take to Social Media to express their feelings.

But in the case of relationships, do not do it. Seriously, just don’t do it.

Instead, practice some social media break-up etiquette. Now, every break-up is different, so not all of these rules will apply to any one relationship. They are more like guidelines for a happier social media life. So, heed the warnings!

1. Do NOT rant about your Ex on Facebook. Everyone wants to do this. It has become almost an instinctive reaction to either good or bad news. The whole Facebook world needs to know about it, right? Wrong. Please, keep that shit to yourself.

2. Instead, post an upbeat status about where life can go from here. People want to hear about the good things, and posting a positive status will rally your friends around you, and might lead to a random evening of drunken shenanigans featuring new, hot humans.

3. However, do NOT post that status that is clearly about your Ex, but to most friends, it is so vague that we know you’re just imploring for someone to ask what’s wrong. Need an example?

“Why do awful things happen to me, when all I do is try to be a loving person?!?”

You look like you’re just begging for attention, and honestly, it bugs your friends. Instead you want to throw out a fun status that shows you are capable of living without your Ex.

4. Yes, feel free to delete your Ex, unfollow him, and basically eliminate him from your social network. It’s your personal network, and if you don’t want to see him/him to see you, by all means, get rid of him.

However, I would advise against blocking the Ex, (unless necessary). If you might have a chance of being friends, being a super closed off drama queen is surely the way to get deleted. I know not everyone wants to be friends with an Ex, but he/she was very close to you for a reason. By not blocking, you leave the option for friendship open.

Also, if your privacy settings are as tight as they should be, deleting him should do the trick. Lesson here? Delete. Don’t Block.

5. In the same breath, if you are Facebook friends with a lot of his family or friends, feel free to slowly wean them off your friend list. Yes, you can delete all in one fell swoop, but this is one of those things where it isn’t going to hurt you to wait a month, but might cause some strife if you go on a deleting binge.

That being said, you’re also more than welcome to remain friends with people you met through your Ex. If it was a friend of his, that you are now friends with, feel free to maintain that new relationship.

6. Do NOT post explicit photos of your Ex. If you were dating long enough, it’s likely that you both have some dirt on the other, especially in the way of pictures. Save them. In five years, you’ll laugh at your past self. But if you post them, you’re asking for a war. And no one wins there.

7. Avoid the urge to stalk your Ex at 2 AM. I know this one is really difficult. But when you accidentally hit like on a status when you’re back in 2010, you’re going to hate yourself.

And trust me; you don’t want to see the other pretty girls who have been waiting for him to be single who are now commenting on all his statuses and pictures. It’s better getting a clean break, and just avoiding his pages in general.

8. If you start dating someone else right away, try to keep it off Facebook. You don’t want to cause unnecessary drama (or maybe you do), and posting about your new boy is definitely going to bite you in the ass. I know that you really want to tag him with your cute brunch picture. It’s okay, the world will survive without knowing you went out with a new Mr. Steamy. That’s how it used to be. And this is actually a good segue for “Social Media Etiquette at the Beginning of a Relationship,” to come in future weeks.

9. Finally, when in doubt, do NOT post anything when you’re upset, angry or sad. I’m talking anything. It could be liking a status, tweeting something snarky, or just writing “I Miss You” on his wall. Don’t do it! None of these are things that you’re going to look back on in 24 hours and think, oh yeah, that was smart.

Break ups suck. It’s a fact of life. But Love is great, and people will continue to search for it. Just remember, along the path to finding that right guy, you’ll have some stumbles.

So, just make sure your social media self doesn’t create more issues and drama than your real life.

Closing Chatter.

Categories: An Eclectic of the Eccentric, Love & Relationships, Thought Catalog-Esque | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

10 Things I Love About Women (pt. I)

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So men out there love a lot of different things about women. There are your typical men who love a nice set of hooters or a little junk in the trunk. But this list is more of a featurette of less commonly spotted, yet completely sexy characteristics about girls/women that I, the Space Cowboy, find to be devastatingly attractive.

This is also going to be a growing piece, with only 10 new ideas at a time. When I’ve got 10 new ones, each new set will be published! So, without any more bustling chit-chat, here we go!

1. I love the way you ladies run across the street in heels when the walk sign is blinking. It’s like a half-run, half-walk clippity clop that just makes you look hilariously adorable.

2. Not all of them are sexy, but a girl with a slightly raspy voice just gets my blood pumping.

3. A girl who rocks a baseball cap and a pony-tail. It’s such a simple look, but topped off with a brewers jersey, and I’m sold.

4. A sporty girl. I’m a huge sports fan/avid player of activities, so someone who can keep up with me on the volleyball court gains a lot of points.

5. At the same time, I’m also a big fan of the girl who can’t play a sport to save her life, but she’s always there to support her friends and the team. It’s such an emotional appeal.

6. I love a girl who will rest her hand out the window when riding in a car and do the whole, waves in the air thing. Such a free-spirit type of action that not everyone does.

7. I love pale/porcelain skin. A girl that has that has a rocking tan is also awesome, but there is just something about that pale-ness that is just so sexy!

8. I love a girl who has normal girl fingernails. Too long and they become a sign of a tart. Too short and they lose attraction. I like them painted (matching their outfit for certain occasions, like a wedding, is a major bonus).

9. I have always been a sucker for a girl who can dance. Both serious girlfriends were on dance teams, but it’s more than just the ability. It’s that I also love to dance, and when I have someone who I dance with consistently, the chemistry grows along with my feelings.

10. I know that everyone who has read a single article of mine already knows this, but a Harry Potter nerd is always winning. I could probably talk about the books, watch the movies, or listen to the soundtracks anywhere, anytime, with anyone. The girl who wants to join, is my girl. Also, if you’re Emma Watson, it doesn’t hurt your chances.

Stay tuned in in the future for other things I find to be turn-ons, from the sundress to the smile, you’ll find them all here.

Closing Chatter.

Categories: An Eclectic of the Eccentric, Love & Relationships, Thought Catalog-Esque | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Reasons Why I’d End a Budding Relationship

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This is a message to all the ladies out there. Guys suck. I’m sorry, but we do. We end things in relationships so suddenly that you might be left wondering what went wrong! (To be completely fair, women do this too).

Now, if you’re a dude and you’re reading this, I’m sure not all of these are your dealbreakers too, but for me, they’re just quirks that will cause me to end things in the early stages of a relationship.

Remember, these rules/dealbreakers are not for established relationships, but instead, they’re about a person you’ve gone out with several times and find to be a potential “girlfriend.” But, when one of the following comes into play, I find myself seeking an out.

Unless you're Emma Watson, the hair above the shoulders look is hard to pull off.

Unless you’re Emma Watson, the hair above the shoulders look is hard to pull off.

So without further adieu, here are some of my biggest dealbreakers.

  1. You cut your hair too short. I really do apologize that this is on the list, but when a girl I was dating hacked off her long locks, the attraction I had was gone. I feel very shallow on this one, but only some people can pull off short hair.
  2. I met you at a bar, but you’re not actually 21. This one is not always a dealbreaker, but if we can’t go to bars together, it’s just not going to work. I am a Sconnie, and we’re definitely a bar-going crew. Additionally, I like being able to order a bottle of wine at dinner and splitting it with my date. It’s fun to swirl and sip. It’s more fun to swirl and sip with someone you are dating.
  3. One of us is moving. I’ve done long distance twice, and both ended poorly, with one party’s heart in shambles. I know that some couples can make long distance work, but unless I think I’m going to marry you, this is a dealbreaker that I can’t get over.
  4. We get along great, but there’s no WOW factor. Yes, I understand that this is vague, but not being out there enough is a dealbreaker. I am an outgoing guy, and I need someone that can keep up with me. If you’re not ready for a random water balloon fight or a spontaneous stop for ice cream, this won’t work.
  5. You smoke cigarettes.
  6. Your grammar sucks. If you don’t know the difference between you’re and your, I will find it very difficult to hang out with you. I know everyone makes typos, but if you’re consistently terrible with grammar, I just get annoyed and turned-off.
  7. You still use the word like in conversation. I’m not saying the I like turnips version. I’m like, referring to the like, trend or something. This guy gets it.
  8. You play on your phone while we’re eating. I get it. You love your smartphone. You love being able to text and tweet and post your meals on Instagram. But if I’m out to eat with you, I feel that you should be able to keep it in your pants for the duration of dinner, as you expect the same from me. If you really need to check something, go to the bathroom instead of whipping it out at the table. Because I just can’t get on board with you if you’re looking down at your own phone while out in public.
  9. You can’t interact with my friends without me. I’m a social butterfly and when I’m out and about, I love interacting with randos. I really love a conversation with someone I’ve never talked to. I want someone who can go out with me and some of my friends, and not need to lean on me the entire night. Social ability is a must.
  10. You haven’t read Harry Potter. I probably won’t actually break things off if you haven’t, but it will be a serious disappointment.
  11. You don’t drink at all. I don’t necessarily want a girl that goes out and gets white-girl-wasted every weekend night, but I am a big fan of hitting up happy hour after work. I need someone that can share a bottle of wine and a comfy couch with. Maybe it’s a Wisconsin thing.
  12. You get jealous when I talk to other girls/women. I am MjAxMy1iNjJjMTFiYWExYzZiNzk5a firm believer in honesty and trust in a relationship. If we’re exclusively dating, I am totally fine with you flirting with friends at work, or the coffee shop guy, or a dude who wants to buy you a drink because I know that you’re not going to go past casual conversation. I only ask for the same courtesy, because sometimes, it’s not flirting; it’s just called being nice.
  13. You don’t text back. I know you’ve got your phone on you, so when I ask what your plans are, don’t read the message, and not respond for 45 minutes. It says “Read at 4:30” right on my phone. If you’re not texting back because you’re actually doing something, that’s great. But if you’re sitting at home watching netflix and you just decide to wait 45 minutes to respond, I’m out.

Wow, I am one picky little biotch. Maybe I need to broaden my horizons a bit… Nah, I’ll just wait for the right one.

Anywho, if you have any other dealbreakers that bug you, feel free to share them! I’d love to hear what other people think.

Stay tuned Friday for a peek into the moves I learned in college.

Closing Chatter.

Categories: Love & Relationships, Thought Catalog-Esque | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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